Well,I found this site while I was posting for a new housemates, and after reading this, I think maybe I will try to keep the housemates that I have.
First of all, I disagree with the term 'roommate' unless you are actually going to share a 'room'. I am proposing to rent a room in a condo. I am renting space. I am not renting myself out as an advisor (legal, psychological or otherwise), I will not show my condomate how to connect his/her computer, nor do I expect to share communal meals or meal planning. I carefully select my condomates by their work schedule--the longer they work (8 hour minimum) and further away, the better. They must work a minimum of 8 - 5 Monday through Friday.
I turned down a couple of guys because they were mortgage brokers, realtors, etc. who had 'flexible schedules' and worked out of the house a lot. I turned down one guy because he was too fat and I didn't want him ruining my bed and couch, nor did I want the inconvenience of trying to get by him in the kitchen or the hall.
I go out of my way to accommodate my condomates' schedule and not be using the kitchen, or washer and dryer when they are home. I am so quiet that my condomate will not hear me when I come in, when I leave or when I move from room to room. I would like my condo mate to do the same, but it is not necessary. Their noise does not necessarily bother me unless they address me directly or knock on my door, etc.
I watch TV in my room. My condomate can do so in his/her room. There is no TV in the living room. There is free wifi available, and there will be cable. I have an unlimited long distance phone line and a separate fax line.
I don't expect to be talked to every time I walk through the condo. I won't speak to the condomate, he/she doesn't need to speak to me. In fact, I do now and hope to in the future rent to a couple so that they will entertain each other, solve each other's problems and not bother me.
The condomate has the master bedroom with private bath. I have the other bath, and share it only with the tenant in the other bedroom. I do not entertain, and I do not want a condomate who entertains. Guests will be only on special occasions, and there is no "guest bathroom". If the condomate has an occasional guest, the guest uses THEIR bathroom.
My office is off limits as is my bedroom and the area immediately outside it. NO ONE knocks on my door. If the condomate wants to contact me he/she can leave a message on my voicemail. I check it when I feel like it. When I want to contact my condomate about an issue, I leave a note under the door or call their cell, usually leave the note.
I expect the condo mate to clean up after him/herself in the kitchen and his/her own room. I and the other condomate are responsible for the rest of the condo. I always leave the vacuum cleaner out because I do not want to be bothered to get it for them.
In my opinion, I offer my condomate the best of both world--sharing costs with a condomate who is like not even there at all.
When I had the female condomate alone, I did try to socialize with her a little as I felt sorry for her. And she was SO NEEDY. She makes 'notice me' noise everytime she comes out of her room--cough, sigh, sneeze, breathe deep, yawn, right outside my room. Then she goes into the kitchen--bang, bang, slam, pause, bang, bang, slam, pause, again and pause, then "Are you in there?" referring to my office in the dining area which I have done everything to to separate from the rest of the condo except building a soundproof wall keeping people from coming in. (But when I get some extra money, I will do that.) When her boyfriend came to live with her, I thought it would get better and it has, but she still makes the 'notice me' noise right in front of my bedroom door as she passes it.
These people NEVER GO ANYWHERE --except to work. So they are there ALL WEEKEND LONG EVERY WEEKEND! I am so glad I would not allow a TV in the living room! Forturnatly they are so TV addicted, they only run out to the kitchen to use the washer or micowave and then run back into their rooms. Otherwise, these slugs would be sitting on the couch from Friday to Monday.
Also, she has lived with me for 27 months and has only been on time with the rent 4 times. Her rent is due 10 days before I pay, and I still have to stress out over having the rent. Now her slug boyfriend has moved in with her, and she is STILL late on the rent???? Also, she/he pull out the washer and never put it back, so I have to do it. But like I said, after reading some of these people's experiences, my problems are pretty small.
OK, people, I know from reading these posts that there are worse roommates out there, but from what I read the problems were as much the fault of the renter as the rentee. Like it would be a cold day in hell before the condomate could borrow my car (or before I would ask the condomate to borrow his/hers). When my car is down, I rent one or take the bus. The condomate could do the same.
Let's get this straight. I'm renting space and the utility services that go with it. I don't say hello and goodbye and goodnight to my condomate. I don't explain my absences or why I have been out late, and I don't want to know their stories. I rent them the room and I let them be, let them have their privacy. I want mine.
So what do you people think? Am I way out of line? Do most people who rent rooms actually want to do this to interact with other people? Wouldn't everyone who could afford it rather have their own space and privacy?
CDCD RCD & DVD Duplication 1 - 10,000
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Wednesday, December 27, 2006
I will try to keep the housemates that I have
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15 comments:
Well, from reading your post, no offense but you sound extremely haughty, stuck up, and unapproachable.
You make it seem to your "roommates" that them living with you is a big inconvenience. If that's the case, live by yourself!
It boggles my mind when people live together and have no communication whatsoever. You don't have to be best friends but you should be friendly and have good communication lines open ALWAYS.
You can have your privacy and be friendly. Trust me, it's completely possible. But I feel the way you behave now, it may be really hard to find someone that can live with you, with you being as cold as you are.
Even though I think that's a horrible way to live, hey that's what you want. It's kind of refreshing to hear someone be so minutely detailed and so blunt in outlining what they expect in a housemate. If only everyone could be so frank there might be some more success stories.
But to answer your question, no I don't think that's at all out of line.
dude, just live by yourself.
I've had housemates continually for more than a decade. Each living situation is always going to be a bit different, i.e., you may be more, or less, inclined to interact with the 1 or more persons occupying the space.
But I do honestly feel you carry your requirements a bit too far; the interrelationship part that is. Out of all the housemates I've had, and that's been quite a few over the years, I haven't had the oddles of probs mentioned in this series of posts. Dunna, but perhaps gay guys being landlords are a bit more easy goin. But I do agree with you about the rent. I pay my mortage on time, every time and I expect their rent on time.
I did take one step this week. I realized a roomie was copping my morning sausage. Do not f**k with my food!!!!! Went out, bought a chest freezer and now all the frozen goods are in a locked room along with the rest of everything important. But I was planning to buy a freezer anyways. You probably wonder why I did not confront the housemate; simple, I did not catch him doing it and I believe the other 2 residents. Process of eliminiation :))
As for TV. The housemate mentioned in the previous graf, does have dvd and flat screen tv provided by me but it's not hooked to the 150-channel cable. The cable is available on the big screen in the living room, but he elects never to watch it. Go figure, huh!
I can overlook some things, but rent not being paid on time and stealing food can see your butt on the sidewalk.
you suck!!! Glad I am not your housemate. If you can't smile and say good morning in passing.
I don't understand how you can live with somebody with NO communication, I thonk the better for you is to live ALONE.
Thanks God I am not your "roommate"!
I don't understand how you can live with somebody with NO communication, I thonk the better for you is to live ALONE.
Thanks God I am not your "roommate"!
Wow, some seriously terrible roommate stories on this site. Mine can’t compare with tales of felons or smelly hippies, but my own brush with a terrible roommate was enough to make me cautious.
I took a job outside New York City. I had about three weeks to find an apartment, pack up, and make the move from Chicago, so things were a little hectic, especially since it was around the holidays. Anyway I searched on Craig’s List (you can see where this is going) and found a handful of apartments that seemed reasonable. I made plans and drove out to New York because I was smart enough to actually see the places I was considering and meeting the people who lived there. Long story short, I saw some decent places (own bedroom, nice living room), some not-so-nice places (“You wouldn’t have a bedroom per se, but a section of the living room, and if you could make yourself scarce on the weekends, that would be great because I’m a swinger and I like to host orgies”), but settled on a room in a three-bedroom with two other guys, both in their mid-20s like me.
Now I pride myself on being fairly good at sensing people that are more trouble that they are worth. I also have a good olfactory sense when it comes to sniffing out bullshit. Both failed miserably when I met let’s call him L. L was English. I thought it was an interesting novelty, the same way I thought it might be interesting to live with someone who worked in a tattoo parlor or was a sex columnist. He was a soccer coach and, if you believed him, quite good at it making decent money. The other guy, J, was a good guy, although I didn’t have a chance to meet him. Their other roommate, A, moved out without giving them much notice and they were searching for a replacement ASAP. I guess L and A didn’t get along so it was best that she left anyway. A didn’t want to put up with L anymore and moved out. A was much smarter than I am, apparently.
I emailed with him after giving him my first month’s rent check and explained that I would be moving in on such-and-such day. Turns out he would be out of town that day but he assured me he would mail the key to me. I tried calling to confirm that when it didn’t show up in Chicago but couldn’t get in touch with him. I figured (wrongly) that he mailed it to the apartment in New York. I make the 14-hour drive out there, crash in a hotel for the night, and head to the apartment in the morning maneuvering the U-Haul down too-narrow streets. Check the mailbox. No key. Check under the doormat. No key. Check in the bushes. No key. Call L. No answer. Call the landlady. L had given me the wrong number. Finally I manage to convince the lady who lives downstairs that I am the new roommate and she gives me a spare key.
At first, things were fine. I was busy at work, usually going 9–7, plus running errands, exploring Manhattan, etc., and L worked later in the day so there were stretches where I might not see him for a few days at a time. I’m not antisocial and neither was he, but at least if we didn’t get along, we were not in the apartment at the same time. One of my first nights there, we went out to grab some dinner at a pub/bar in White Plains. L was treating, Awesome, I thought. This is working out great. Perhaps I’m in the minority, but I was taught that when someone else is buying you dinner, there is a certain protocol. First be gracious and say thank you. Perhaps offer to pick up the tip, if the mood is right. Second, say you’ll pick up the check the next time you’re out together to make things even. Third, if someone’s taking you out, refrain from going crazy and ordering seven or eight beers (especially when they are $7 a piece), appetizers, and dessert. In other words, don’t take advantage of someone’s hospitality. I didn’t. L did. And therein is the difference between us. A few weeks later we went out to eat at a similar place. I had a burger and a Guiness. He had a burger, a chocolate sunday, cheesestick appetizers, and six beers. When he was paying the bill came to about $25. When I paid, it was $75. Funny how that happens.
The next weekend, L was going out of town and had a 9 a.m. flight out of LaGuardia. A cab runs close a $100 each way. You can get there via the train into the city and then a bus, but that takes forever and can be more trouble than it’s worth. Or you can ask your roommate for a ride. I said sure, seeing as I thought it would be good to learn how to get to the airport and if I ever needed to fly out, he could drive me. It works out well if the sack of shit you’re driving to the airport actually is timely and doesn’t make you late for work your second week on the job. “So long as I’m at my desk by 9, no problem.” Doesn’t help when the guy doesn’t get out of bed until 8 and THEN decides it’s a good time to pack. So yeah, L makes me late for work. Had I not been able to sneak in unnoticed I would have been in serious trouble, not to mention setting a poor example so soon on the job. And on a personal level, I absolutely hate being late; I can tolerate it in others, but I have an almost-allergic reaction when I run late for something.
Next week goes by without incident. I am supposed to pick him up the next Sunday afternoon. I am literally putting my jacket on to pick him up when he calls to tell me that his flight’s delayed. I said, okay and checked it out online. Sure enough: delayed. A few hours go by the website says it has taken off and will land soon. Another phone call. L missed his actual flight. Apparently he decided to make the most of being stuck in an airport and hit the bar. Drinking heavily he missed his actual flight. He wouldn’t be on the next one either because it was full. Or the one after that. Basically instead of getting in at 3, he would now be getting in at 11, and I was a real mate for picking him up. Finally I head to the airport and pick him up, and what’s this? He wants to give a friend a ride home. I made two assumptions when he wanted to give this woman a ride home. I assumed he knew her before the flight and I assumed she lived somewhere on the way home because, you know, what kind of asshole would ask a person to drive a complete stranger they just met someplace completely out of the way at fucking midnight on a Sunday. L was that asshole. I’m not wild about driving in Manhattan as it is, but the fact that she lived in fucking Tribeca and not Queens of Westchester was really the icing on the cake. (For those of you not familiar with the layout of New York, Tribeca is nowhere close to where we were going.) So I drop this woman off and breathe a sigh of relief because unlike him, I actually have to be at work by a certain time in the morning.
But it gets better. He wants to stop at a bar and see his mates. Some shit bar in Alphabet City. I say okay. I just don’t want to argue…too tired. Not so much a stop to say hello, but a stop to having a few drinks and snort coke out back. Yeah, nice surprise when your asshole roommate is a junkie to boot, isn’t it? We finally got home at about 4. To this day I think he thinks he did me a favor. In some twisted logic he thinks that that experience was “good” for me.
In short order the next six months went much the same way until I just started saying no to him. Seriously I think I should have taken a rape prevention class before living with this guy.
I stopped doing him favors of any kind the time he went on one of his many benders with his friends and needed a ride from the city at 3 a.m. I mean, who calls a person at that hour looking for a ride? And being rather insistent that you give him one? Being a complete idiot and letting my manners get the best of me, I rolled out of bed, threw on some shoes, printed out directions from MapQuest, and headed out. Oh and it was February. Sitting on the backed-up FDR (the expressway that runs along the east side of Manhattan) I had to wonder why I didn’t take being locked out of the apartment as being some divine intervention. When he complained that it took me too long, I was about as close to murdering someone as I have ever been.
He had all the typical habits of being a shitty roommate: messy, didn’t do the dishes, didn’t pay bills on time, ate my food, never cleaned the bathroom, would eat my leftovers, would dominate the TV in the living room (even though he had one in his bedroom), etc. My personal favorite was the going to the bathroom with the door open, walking naked from his bedroom to the bathroom to take a shower, and the weird pride he would take in stinking up the bathroom and then leaving the door open so the whole apartment would smell. Then he got a girlfriend and despite the fact that we agreed that this would be a smoke-free apartment, he let her smoke in his room, ash in a pop can, and then throw it out in the kitchen garbage can so the rest of the apartment smelled like cigarettes too. This guy was a real peach.
Oh, then there was the one-upmanship and outright lies. L had, according to him: dated Mandy Moore, fucked Julia Stiles, chatted with David Beckham every week and attended his wedding, made $200,000 a year (for coaching 8-year-old-girl soccer), had a scholarship to Cambridge, shagged at least 300 different girls, survived cancer, was diabetic, played professional soccer, had lunch with Keira Knightly, wrote a column for Men’s Health (being a writer/editor trying to break into the industry myself, this was specifically designed to piss me off), etc. You name it, he had done it, only a thousand times better.
Then we found out he was overcharging us for rent and utilities.
L might not have been the worst roommate in the world but he definitely was an asshole.
Wow, you have issues!
1. The first person should just live by themself. I think it would just be easier for you and the human race. Some people want to at least be friendly with other housemates (I refrain from using condomates b/c it looks too much like condom-ate). It is fine if the other housemates were fore-warned of the the others personality but it is definitely something to be stated at the possibility of others living there.
2. James~ I AM SO SORRY! that sounds like a shitty shitty, situation! That is all that can be said about it, really!
MY MESSED UP STORY~
I lived with 5 other people. One guy was engaged, other 2 housemates shared a room (they were dating) and 2 others with a significant other each, at least at the end of the lease.
The engaged had his finacee over alot with 2 large, clumsy, dumbass dogs. The couple was never apart and when they were over, they always had loud sex or the porn was disgustingly loud, leaving nothing to the imagination as to the happenings in that room! (and much to my joy, I shared a wall).
The couple living together in another room were at the end not pleasant. I was best friends with the girl but now I am not so sure. Unpleasant meaning-I would literally be in the same room with them and they did not even acknowledge my presence.
The 1 guy was cool who had a dog. The other one (whose gf practically lived there) NEVER EVER cleaned before the gf was around. I mean a black toilet and all in all complete repulsiveness! He had this a dog. First off, we kept the dog for a few months before he even moved in. The dog COULD NOT be alone ie would chew things, start squealing, crying, barking for HOURS (and I really do mean HOURS too) anywhere we put him. If we put him in the backyard, he would hop a 6 ft cement fence and of course you can't tie him up b/c of the noise level this monster ensued. IT WAS HORRIBLE!! I could go on forever about this...oh and to top it off the dog shit, adding up to alot with all the dogs, had fossilized! I am talking about-we lived there for 17 months and it was picked up prolly about 6 times, which even includes ME picking it up once b/c I was so pissed and didn't want to bitch!
I did know all of the housemates one way or another before moving in and the one's finacee, then later the other gfs that became new additions...
So count the max number of people in this freaking house(and it wasn't a mansion by any means!) at one time- 4 guys 5 girls (including me) 4 decent sized dogs (3 of them were actually LARGE and I SWEAR were bulldozers in a past life) AND a partridge in a pear tree (jk)!
I am FULLY aware that I am not a perfect roommate, there is not even a single doubt in my mind. I am anally clean(recently developed into, and at the wrong time, for that matter!), to the point of bitching about the guys leaving garbage on the counters(ie the milk jug pully thing, that is just PURE laziness after like the 4th time) I would spend my WHOLE DAY cleaning, when I was home and I rarely even got a thank you, but they did help me out financially (i was a student) so for thisI was extremely grateful! (and for the candle thing they got me for all the cleaning crap I did :/)
I love every one of these past housemates separately(pretty much) but the combo of all of them makes me want to heinousy kill them or just end my own life in some painful way for doing this to myself.
This is one of MANY sad roommate tales that I have experienced...
AND MUCH TO MY DISMAY...
All those housemates moved in with significant others at the end of our lease and I am the lone man out-meaning I have to find a place on-you guessed it-ROOMMATES.COM or CRAIGSLIST!
Geez I wasn't even going to write, then was just going to respond to the other 2, then decided to share my experience and it took eons to write and for you to read! Thank you so much for your time, lol...
Yea I agree with Darlene. And by the sounds of it you dont really care about this critisizm either. Can I ask you, do you have any friends? Or must you pencil them into your black book and make an appointment with your secretary before ever coming close to speaking with you. I understand that you like your privacy, everyone does. There is a fine line between that and being rude. Maybe your "condomate" would just like to be friendly with you. Did you put yourself on that high of a pedestal to think you're so much better then your "peon" condomate that you are doing such a "BIG" favor for by letting them rent "SPACE".......my suggestion....get laid....it seems you have a lot of built up tention<3
To Darlene:
Kudos to you girl. I absolutely understand where you're coming from. Just because you "rent" with someone does not mean you owe them your life (for lack of a better word to hit home!) AND if it's stated in the beginning "what" you expect out of a housemate then there should be no problem finding the right one and not someone that "probably or maybe or could" learn to adhere to your specifications of a housemate. It simply says you need your space. I need mine. This is NOT a looking for companion space. IF we were sharing the SAME ROOM, then maybe there should be communication. But a house or apartment, with only certain rooms shared ... okay ... some common-ground rules for the shared space, but other than that, I don't see why it has to extend into "my" own personal space as well as time. If I want friendly, good communication lines, I'll live with FRIENDS and/or FAMILY. You cannot have your privacy and be friendly. Trust me, it's completey IMPOSSIBLE. Next thing you know, your 'housemate' is answering your phone, being late on rent, eating your food, "I'll do the dishes later" .. the list goes on!
Yeah, from years of experience with living with friends, family and "roommates that were strangers until they moved in and then you see the REAL roomie...." People are people!! It is NOT out of line to put on paper of what is expected in a roommate or housemate, actually it puts in order what can be expected out of BOTH (or all) roommates/housemates. Then there wouldn't be so many 'horror' stories about roommates on this site.
AND TO JAMES: Oh my gosh! You are SO WANTED by those who condemn Darlene's strict guidelines in a housemate/roommate!!! No kidding! I'm glad to hear that "L" hasn't driven you madly insane OR hasn't marred you for life in wanting to share another place with other roommates!
Wow you are a total jackass. Live by yourself you dumbass prick.
Wow! I don't always like to socialise either etc but you take it to another level! Thats pretty anal. She probably makes 'notice me sounds' because your such an anal bitch thats she just does it to annoy you :P
A useful tip
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